Finger Politics

How do you keep politicians honest?

Finger Politics

A bit tongue in cheek, a bit real world problem solving if you ask me, but I’m a flawed human with a wacko imagination and a demented sense of humor. Read on to enjoy a comedic post with one goal in mind: clean up the dishonesty in politics.

Inspired by looming midterms, constant ads, abundant flyers, intentional misinformation, I’ve developed the concept of Finger Politics.  It’s a bit outside of the box and a tad twisted, but it could be a highly effective way to streamline the monstrosities that have become political propaganda.

In Finger Politics, each candidate…at every level…in any capacity…pledges to stand behind and back TEN issues/policies. Every time they actively go against anything they pledged to do, they get a finger cut off. For example, I pledge to fight to increase funding into public education, but then I vote against it. I do anything to intentionally stand in the way of getting funding into public education, and I lose a finger. (This is not to say I lose a finger if others vote against it and the bill to increase funding doesn’t pass.) It’s about what I said I would do and what I actually did. It’s about our elected officials meaning what they say and saying what they mean, thereby making it easy for the public to stay informed, without the twists and spins of smear campaigns, talking heads, biased news and intentional misinformation. Bye bye, ‘I’m going vote with my buddies’. Bye bye, ‘I’m in the lobbyists’ pocket’. Bye bye, ‘self-interest bullshit’.

FP may seem harsh, but it will make it crystal clear who has integrity and who doesn’t. Honesty becomes transparent. Accountability is in place. Keeps politics a touch fairer for the common folk…those of us that are supposed to be represented. True colors shine through. The guess work. The smear campaigns. The rhetoric. All gone. No need to recycle all those flyers, because there’s no need to make them. In fact, ads will be scaled back to just a picture of the candidates’ face and hands, with fingers held high for all to see. At the bottom all the pertinent information: 

Dale, 7 fingers, 15 years of service

Paula, 3 fingers, 8 years of service

Stephanie, 9 fingers, 20 years of service

On the back of their face/finger card every candidate would have one side to explain the finger loss(es) and tout any accomplishments, like how they kept their current fingers. One card. That’s it. Think of all the money saved and the waste not wasted!

Another bonus? No need for term limits, once you’re out of fingers, you’re out. After all its Finger Politics. Not Nub Politics. Want to keep your fingers? Don’t be a corrupt asshole liar. The simplicity of it. It could be a thing.

Finger Politics, Coming Soon?!?

***Endorsed by Americans Everywhere